General Advice
Your Problem

Problem Types
Type I
Type II
Type III
Type IV
Type V

The Program: Step 3 - Solutions

Type 2 Problem
You don't meet any women you're interested in

There are a number of reasons why you may not be meeting women you're interested in:
  • You're not getting out enough.
  • You're going to the wrong places when you go out.
  • You don't have "common" (popular) interests.
  • You're being too picky.
  • You may be clinically depressed.

You're not getting out enough.

One of the most common reasons for not meeting women that you're interested in is that you're not getting out enough. If this is the case, see the page on I'm not meeting any women.

You're going to the wrong places when you go out.

Another common reason is that you're going to the wrong places. What makes you think that you're going to meet a nicegirl™ in a bar or club? There's lots of nicegirls in bars and clubs and many of them are looking for niceguys, but they're also being hit on by plenty of Jerks and after a few bad run-ins with them, a niceguy doesn't stand a chance.

Try going to places where you don't have to fight your way through their defenses. If you're religious, try your church or temple...many of them have events just for singles including dances and reading groups. Go ballroom dancing — part of the etiquette involves saying "yes" when asked to dance unless she has a good reason. Attempt to go where the women are and aren't being completely hit-on.

Another option is to ask your friends to try to fix you up...but make sure to talk to her on the phone first and set up the date. Just be careful, some of your friends may have no taste.

You don't have "common" (popular) interests.

If the thing you care about more than anything else in the world is stamps of the 1920's, seven-shot revolvers, or Killer Mummies From Outer Space 2 - The Computer Game, you're going to have a hard time finding someone with compatible interests. You have two choices:
  1. settle down for a long wait or
  2. find additional interests.
Once again, go where the nicegirls are. I've had a number of female friends who melt at how well their boyfriends can cook. Try the cooking classes. Or the dance classes. Or acting classes. Whatever works for you.

You're being too picky.

Something to ask yourself: Are you really that good? It's easy to waste the rest of your life looking for "Ms. Perfect," but you're probably not going to find her and unless you're Mr. Perfect, she probably won't be interested. This is not to say that you aren't a good person, but what are your real chances of finding a Nicole Kidman lookalike who wants to give up her medical practice to wait on you hand and foot?

Sit back and think for a while about what you're looking for in a nicegirl™ and be realistic.

You may be clinically depressed.

How are things with the rest of your life? Depression is more than just "feeling bad after a tough day" it's a chronic illness which can usually be controlled with medication and/or therapy.

Send me your ideas for things that you find have helped.

All materials © Copyright 2007 - Clint Zehner
If you are interested in reprinting any of the materials on this site, please contact me.

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