Assumptions
General Advice
Your Problem
Problem Types
Type I
Type II
Type III
Type IV
Type V
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The Program: Step 3 - Solutions
Type 2 Problem
You don't meet any women you're interested in
There are a number of reasons why you may not be meeting women
you're interested in:
- You're not getting out enough.
- You're going to the wrong places when you go out.
- You don't have "common" (popular) interests.
- You're being too picky.
- You may be clinically depressed.
You're not getting out enough.
One of the most common reasons for not meeting women that
you're interested in is that you're not getting out enough.
If this is the case, see the page on
I'm not meeting any women.
You're going to the wrong places when you go out.
Another common reason is that you're going to the wrong places.
What makes you think that you're going to meet a nicegirl™
in a bar or club? There's lots of nicegirls in bars and clubs
and many of them are looking for niceguys, but they're
also being hit on by plenty of Jerks and after a few bad run-ins
with them, a niceguy doesn't stand a chance.
Try going to places where you don't have to fight your way through
their defenses. If you're religious, try your church or temple...many
of them have events just for singles including dances and reading
groups. Go ballroom dancing — part of the etiquette involves
saying "yes" when asked to dance unless she has a good
reason. Attempt to go where the women are and aren't being completely
hit-on.
Another option is to ask your friends to try to fix you up...but
make sure to talk to her on the phone first and set up the date.
Just be careful, some of your friends may have no taste.
You don't have "common" (popular) interests.
If the thing you care about more than anything else in the world
is stamps of the 1920's, seven-shot revolvers, or Killer Mummies From
Outer Space 2 - The Computer Game, you're going to have a hard time
finding someone with compatible interests. You have two choices:
- settle down for a long wait or
- find additional interests.
Once again, go where the nicegirls are. I've had a number of
female friends who melt at how well their boyfriends can cook.
Try the cooking classes. Or the dance classes. Or acting classes.
Whatever works for you.
You're being too picky.
Something to ask yourself: Are you really that good?
It's easy to waste the rest of your life looking for "Ms.
Perfect," but you're probably not going to find her and
unless you're Mr. Perfect, she probably won't be interested.
This is not to say that you aren't a good person, but what
are your real chances of finding a Nicole Kidman lookalike
who wants to give up her medical practice to wait on you hand
and foot?
Sit back and think for a while about what you're looking for
in a nicegirl™ and be realistic.
You may be clinically depressed.
How are things with the rest of your life? Depression is
more than just "feeling bad after a tough day"
it's a chronic illness which can usually be controlled with
medication and/or therapy.
Send me your ideas for
things that you find have helped.
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