I certainly don't claim to have all the answers, and anything I say
will not apply to all nice guys or all nice girls, but I think I've
spent enough time as a nice guy to have some ideas that may help. I
also want to hear what you have to say...I'm not the only one who's
been through this nonsense.
Also, before I go any further, a few points:
This site is even more "under construction" than
most. I'll be reorganizing it and filling it in over the next
several months as time permits.
I have a full-time job and a life. I also don't have an editor.
I'll work on this when I can, but sometimes things may sound a bit
disjointed. I apologize...a little.
I try to use the disclaimer language with the text itself, but in
case I miss any, most statements on this site should be prefaced with
"In most cases," "In my experience," "Based
on the dates that I've had," "Most of my friends seem to
agree that," etc. There are few absolutes in dating.
I'm trying for a no-bullshit policy as much as I can manage.
While in a perfect world we would all be loved for our inner-beauty,
this ain't that world. Some people may be offended or
hurt by my beliefs, ideas, and what I have to say. All I have to say
is six months ago I wasn't getting dates. Now I am. If I say something
that you find offensive, email me with rational and thought-out
reasons why I shouldn't say something and I'll think about it or
possibly publish your email. (Hey, what's a new nav-button between
I'm working from certain assumptions, which I'll elaborate on more
later, including that you want to go on dates and you realize that
you have a problem.
- "Mr. Nice Guy"
At the moment NiceGuys.Org is just me and a few friends...but we're
working on it.
You may be asking yourself why would so-called "nice guys"
need some sort of organization? Well, in spite of lots of women's
complaints to the contrary, there's quite a few of us and many of
us are single.
We've tried social clubs. No luck. We've tried the gym...they're too
busy checking out the 'roid monkeys. We've tried waiting for them to
dump the jerk...they marry him. It's gotten old.
What finally convinced me to start NiceGuys.Org was the following
email from (another nice guy) who I was in a singles-social club
Despite my work crunch time, I am finding it [the singles-social
club] to be more of a kind of sports club than meet-and-date club.
Definitely getting disillusioned about meeting someone through it.
Have you had any dates from it? What we really need to do is start
an internet dating web site for the "nice guys." (Don't you
do web page design ;-) Either that or we need to start practicing to
be assholes, then the dates might come.
Having actually tried being a jerk and not liking who I was...even
though I was getting dates, I figured that I should put my money
(and web-design skills) where my mouth is.